How to Stay Ethereal While Signing Up For Auto Insurance

 Face it: No matter how ethereal you might be, skipping barefoot through meadows just isn’t an efficient mode of transportation, so it’s time to get yourself a car. But after you’ve traded in your mandolin for a cute little Prius, you’ll be confronted with a problem your whimsical little brain can’t begin to compute: Geico or Allstate? Don’t get your flower crown in a bunch: Here’s how to stay ethereal while signing up for auto insurance.



Set The Mood

You’re about to embark on one of the most banal journeys of your life, so it’s important to counterbalance all that negative energy. Put on your flowiest white dress, play your favorite harp music, and make sure your emergency crystals are on hand. Now you’re ready to blow the cobwebs off your Macbook Pro – unfortunately, this is one task that cannot be completed using a quill and ink.


Consult The Tea Leaves

Choosing which insurance company to go with is just like deciding who to marry or whether to go to college: easily answered by tea leaves. Once you’ve drunk a cup of your favorite rosehip tea, examine the dregs at the bottom. Do your tea leaves resemble the Allstate logo, or Flo the Progressive Girl’s headband? Then you have your answer, and those tea leaves have never steered you wrong before (besides your marriage to Brian, but in retrospect that was obvioiusly because he’s a Scorpio).


Sprinkle Lines Of Poetry Throughout Your Intake Form

Forms are the bane of any ethereal girl’s existence, but try to complete them as accurately as possible, no matter how many sticks of sage you have to burn. To counterbalance the overwhelming mundanity of estimating how many miles your commute is or providing your VIN number, throw in some Yeats quotes wherever possible. Remember, it would be untruthful to represent yourself as anything other than a free spirit, even when dealing with your insurance company.



Ask A One-Eyed Raven To Pick Your Coverage Plan

While you’d ideally make the decision of what coverage to purchase based on overall cost and your state’s insurance requirements, your head is just too in the clouds for that shit. So whistle for your one-eyed raven, and let him use his trusty beak to choose what level of coverage to purchase. See? Now you’re covered and mystical!


Just because you’re getting auto insurance doesn’t mean you have to hang up your velvet robe for good. And if you encounter any unanticipated issues, just remember WWLDRD: What would Lana Del Rey do?