Home Soap Dispenser Now 99% Water  

In an developing story out of San Diego, it appears that the hand soap dispenser in Janet Reyes’ bathroom is now 99% water.


“It still works fine,” said Janet, desperately trying to conjure up a lather while washing her hands.


“We started running low on soap last month,” she said. “So I put a little water in the container to stretch it out. I don’t think my hands are any less clean though, so I’m gonna ride this one out.”


“Yep, there’s a bit left in there!” Janet added, shaking the soap dispenser up in an effort to unstick the pithy remains from the bottom and incorporate them into the water.


Janet’s loved ones are becoming concerned for her health.


“There’s no way that that soap is effective at all,” said Lester Reyes, Janet’s father. “She might as well just be washing her hands with plain water at this point.”


“I don’t understand why she or one of her roommates hasn’t just gone out and bought a new soap dispenser,” added Jenny Lought. “They’re all asking for a norovirus outbreak.”



But Janet doesn’t see the big deal.


“I’ll get a new soap eventually,” she said. “I’m just not in a huge rush, because obviously this is working for us for now.”