The student debt crisis is one of the most salient social issues of today, affecting over 45 million people. Therefore, it is imperative to outline where each presidential candidate currently stands on the subject. Also, because height is a major factor when it comes to attraction, it’s even more vital to see exactly where each candidate is in a lineup according to height. So here’s where each candidate stands on the student debt crisis, and more importantly, where would they stand when we make them line up in height order.
Senator Kamala Harris suggests making community college free and she also emphasizes the importance of cracking down on for-profit colleges. She leans more moderate than some of the other candidates but stands straight up at 5’2”, putting her at the end of the line behind Marian Williamson (5’3”), who “doesn’t understand the point of this exercise.”
Another candidate, Amy Klobuchar has voiced her support for expanding federal student aid and providing free, two-year community colleges. At 5’7” she is in front of Williamson, behind Tulsi Gabbard, and currently asking us “how this information is even slightly beneficial to voters.”
A current frontrunner, Elizabeth Warren, has a plan that centers around canceling student debt based on household income, which addresses common criticisms about how debt cancellation could unevenly benefit those with high-incomes already. While Warren’s plan may put her ahead in the polls, her 5’8” frame still puts her behind many other candidates, which she clarifies is “wholly irrelevant to [her] policies and frankly a waste of time.”
Millennial frontrunner Pete Buttigieg has emphasized his support for expanding how much debt is forgiven to the Teacher Loan Forgiveness program. At 5’9” he stands in front of Elizabeth Warren but behind Bernie Sanders (6’0”) and Cory Booker (6’2”), and is constantly reminding us that he “finds this process very weird” and “would much prefer to spend this time actually talking about policies or [his] perfect husband Chasten.”
Native Texan, Beto O’Rourke, has been an open proponent of tuition-free community colleges, and emphasizes expanding free education to public colleges and universities. At 6’4”, he is second in line, shadowed only by the very tall Bill de Blasio (6’5”) who is “honestly just excited to finally be first at something.”
There were many other candidates around but because they weren’t very recognizable, we didn’t include their policies and kindly asked them not to step in line. Regardless, for many single-issue voters, a candidate’s stance on the student debt crisis decides whether that candidate gets their support. For other single-issue voters, support for a candidate depends entirely on whether they can stand next to that candidate in high heels, so stay informed and keep both these equally important factors in mind when you head to the polls this election season!
