Only women can decide what they want to do with their pubic hair. However, everyone knows it’s sexiest when their vaginas look like chickens that haven’t been cooked yet. Here are four hair removal techniques that will keep your vagina looking like the sexy uncooked chicken it wants to be.
Shave
Shaving your pubic hair requires a lot of upkeep, since it starts growing back immediately. But as long as you’re willing to commit to shaving a couple times a week, this is an affordable way to get rid of hair down there and to keep your genitals looking like a beautiful, sexual raw chicken breast. You know, the kind of chicken breast that some lady buys to cook later in the week when her friends come over. Knock knock? More like “bock bock”!
Waxing
Waxing lasts a long time and will make your vagina look like a sexy dead bird! Book an appointment with a waxing specialist who will apply a thin layer of warm wax on you before ripping off the hardened wax with a cloth strip. Waxing removes the root of the hair and also makes everyone think you stuck a lifeless chicken carcass in the place where your vagina once was. A sultry vagina? More like a poultry vagina!
Hair Removal Cream
This method is popular because it is painless, turning your puss into a naked lifeless bird without the usual irritation or suffering. However, if you feel any pain or notice redness, remove the product because you’re probably allergic. But you know what’s not allergic to your new raw rooster vulva? Penises! Cock-a-doodle do put that dick inside your erotic mammalian flesh before one of you gets salmonella!
Laser
This technique uses a beam of light to destroy the hair follicles underneath your skin. Your genitalia will look like a dangling dead chicken forever! Nice! You have to return for several sessions, but once it’s done, your vagina will look fly! It won’t actually be able to fly because it’s a dead chicken. But, if you preheat the oven you can bake it in 30 minutes!
These are the ways to make your vulva look like a sexy uncooked chicken. And if you’re not interested in your vagina looking like a hot dead bird, well, good luck out there because nobody wants that!
