Guy Just Telling It Like an Asshole Thinks It Is

In an insufferable story coming out of Brooklyn, NY, it appears that 27-year-old Brandon Cauffield is simply telling it like an asshole thinks it is.


On a first date between Brandon and his new Hinge match Veronica Freeman at a local brunch spot, Brandon made it very clear that he’s someone who “always speaks his mind”, even though he has the mind of a total asshole.


“Within the first five minutes of the date, he was already trying to insult our waiter,” Veronica told us. “And then just kept repeating that he just ‘tells it like it is’, whatever that means.”


“The waiter asked me my name at the counter,” Brandon explained. “And even though I told him what it was, he kept asking for it again, as if he couldn’t hear me? So then I was like, ‘Hello! It’s Brandon. Not that hard to remember!’ Idiot.”


“Not a lot of people know this,” Brandon said on the date. “But most restaurants share their tips between all their workers.”


“But I don’t agree with that, so I usually just don’t tip at all,” Brandon told us. “Just being honest.”


Sources confirm that Brandon is truly a guy who is not afraid to tell it exactly like it is according to a total wang.


“At this point, I was ready to excuse myself to the bathroom and then just go home,” Veronica said. “But he wouldn’t even let me get a word in.”


“Speaking of the bill,” Brandon went on. “I think it’s so funny that women want to be equal, yet they want the guy to pay for the whole meal on the first date. Like, is that really feminism?”


Sources suspect this guy has never actually listened to anyone in his life, except maybe for some male podcasters! Guess he’s just telling it exactly like a total asshole thinks “it” is.