In news out of Washington Depot, CT, fall has officially begun, thanks to beloved town groundhog Betty, who has started her annual rewatch of Gilmore Girls.
“That punk down in Punxsutawney gets all the glory because everyone wants winter to end,” says town mayor Wendy Calhoun. “But Betty is the real champ, telling people when they can stop pretending they enjoy summer and give in to their primal urges to stay indoors and do nothing all day wrapped in a blanket.”
Town records show that Betty has been using Gilmore Girls rerun sessions to herald in the autumn season ever since the show began in 2000, carrying on the torch of her predecessors, all named Betty, who rewatched shows such as Twin Peaks and Murder She Wrote to announce the start of fall before her.
“There was a particularly contrarian year when Betty decided to rewatch BBC Miniseries Pride and Prejudice and the whole town wondered what it meant because obviously BBC Miniseries Pride and Prejudice is a winter show,” recalls town historian Maria Huerto. “Of course, it made sense when a brutal early winter storm hit the Northeast a week later. To this day, everyone in the tri-state area still refers to it as the Firth Freeze of ‘98. Thank goodness our current Betty has Gilmore Girls!”
Indeed with the start of Betty’s marathon of the hit WB show, locals have been seen ditching their shorts for cardigans, and Birkenstocks for Dr. Martens. As per tradition, the fall season will last as long as her binge of the seven season show, with a current contentious measure on the ballot to include the addendum Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life to her autumn queue.
“Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life literally only has one episode dedicated to fall,” protests local citizen Henry Young. “It’s bureaucratic nonsense to include the entire miniseries in Betty’s autumn watch!”
While this ballot will be closely watched in the November elections, most of the town locals are simply happy that fall has officially begun, and that they too can start rewatching Gilmore Girls without wondering if it was seasonally appropriate yet.
As of press time, Betty was seen wrapped in a comically long scarf with a “Team Jess” shirt, already starting season 2.
