The human body is usually a beautiful mystery, and right now you might be feeling some of the most common symptoms of pregnancy that are probably nothing. Right? Since you clearly don’t have time to deal with this shit right now, it’s probably best to ignore your symptoms and pretend like this isn’t happening. Here are some pregnancy symptoms you’re experiencing that are probably nothing, right? Right??
If you’ve been feeling more tired recently and are finding yourself getting exhausted after doing normal activities, it could be a sign that you are pregnant. But it could also mean that you just need to start working out more to build up endurance? Or maybe you need to drink more water?? Literally any of this would be easier than calling up Max and having a conversation you do not want to have right now. Just go back to sleep and this should all go away. Right?
Do you find yourself rushing to the bathroom more often than you used to? Instead of using some of that frequent urination to take a pregnancy test, maybe just ignore it cause it’s probably just one of your weird unexplainable body things, right? You’ve been drinking a lot more water since you started working out to counteract your fatigue and also that weird weight gain only in your breasts and stomach. So it’s probably just that. You’re not pregnant. Don’t worry about it.
Women frequently will start to feel nauseous once they hit the two-month mark in a pregnancy. Or maybe it’s food allergies? Why can’t it be food allergies? Sometimes people develop allergies to food later in life, right? Max mentioned that happened to him the night you guys hooked up and the condom broke.
Oh Fuck, Sore Breasts
When women become pregnant, their breasts can swell and feel sore. But also, doesn’t this also happen around your period too? And since your period has been extra late, so wouldn’t it make sense that your breasts are extra swollen because of that? That makes more sense than Max knocking you up that one night you had sex approximately two months ago. It was only just the tip. And then his whole dick. You can’t get pregnant from that, right? RIGHT?!
Positive Pregnancy Test?????
SOMETIMES YOU GET A FALSE POSITIVE, OKAY? THIS DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING.
If you have any of these symptoms, maybe just keep on Googling them to see if they could be something else you’d rather have, like cancer? Remember, you’re not pregnant if nobody said you are!