In a story many are calling “absolutely mortifying,” 27-year-old Jessie Lloyd has developed a burgeoning career as a working studio artist, creating and selling pieces that are widely regarded as “good” – and she’s not even dead yet.
Okay, humiliating?
“She didn’t even have to die unknown without a penny to her name before receiving any sort of critical recognition for her work,” Jessie’s roommate, Mariah, told reporters. “I’m not jealous, I’m just worried for her. I’ve seen her art and thought it was super impressive, which is so embarrassing for her! Being recognized, well-regarded, and stable isn’t mysterious. Having successful, interesting, and critically-acclaimed art before your bones are nothing but dust isn’t cool.”
She continued, “I just hope for her sake that she can bounce back from this and fade into total obscurity before she dies.”
Others reported having similar feelings about Jessie’s creative successes, with Jessie’s mom telling reporters that she has developed intense second-hand embarrassment over the extent of her daughter’s success.
“Wait, you mean to tell me she isn’t depressed and is actually happy and making a living off of her art? That’s not very starving artist of her,” said Jessie’s mom, Melissa. “I don’t get how she’s not self-conscious, I’ve been a nervous wreck trying to keep my friends from finding out that my daughter is regarded as a bona fide creative genius. If she’s not going to wait until she’s dead to become distinguished in her field, then she could’ve at least waited until I was!”
Sources say it’s unclear how Jessie expects to achieve notoriety when she’s dead when she’s already incredibly esteemed right now.
In spite of her friends’ and family’s reactions regarding her artistic achievements, Jessie says she’s not worried.
“Yeah, I know artists like Van Gogh, Monet, and El Greco weren’t exactly well-regarded during their lifetimes,” she told reporters. “But that doesn’t mean every artist has to exist like that! I’ve experienced some success recently and I feel super lucky and grateful. I don’t get why everyone is acting like I should be ashamed?”
Yikes – it’s so sad when people can’t even see how embarrassing their lives really are.
At press time, those close to Jessie were speculating about what this success might mean for the remainder of her life, with her roommate saying, “What’s next? Is she going to be mentally healthy and financially solvent, too? That’s so cringe!”
