Ellen to Go on ‘Ellen’ to Rehabilitate Her Image

After an outpouring of criticism from former employees about allegations of an abusive workplace, daytime television host Ellen DeGeneres has reportedly decided to go on the popular talk show Ellen to share her side of the story and reclaim the narrative.


DeGeneres’ decision follows in the footsteps of other disgraced individuals, including comedian Kevin Hart and former President George W. Bush, who made appearances on Ellen knowing that they would receive a warm reception and universal plaudits for their bravery.


“Ellen has been accused of fostering a chronically toxic work environment where employees were afraid to even look her in the eyes,” explained Julia Muller, a PR professional with decades of experience referring her clients to Ellen in moments of controversy. “The only way to recover from a scandal that profound is to engage in some deep self-reflection, listen to your critics, and then ignore all that and get Ellen DeGeneres to let you off the hook.”


“The only question now,” Muller concluded, “is whether Ellen will take Ellen’s calls.”


Based on the responses from prominent voices in the industry, the consensus in Hollywood is that an appearance on Ellen would provide a much-needed boost for DeGeneres’ career.


“Listen, I’m gonna be real with you: Ellen DeGeneres is persona non grata right now,” said a TV executive speaking on condition of anonymity for fear of retribution from DeGeneres. “If she wants any hope of recuperating some goodwill from the public, she will need to leverage her connections with celebrities that have historically sterling reputations, like Ellen DeGeneres.”


A source close to DeGeneres forcefully denied the rumor that DeGeneres was going to allow an embattled personality like DeGeneres to go on her program without being held accountable for her actions.


“Ellen DeGeneres is committed to creating a fun, inclusive, joyous space on television that offers comfort to millions and makes the world a better place,” the source said in a statement. “The notion that she would invite a polarizing figure like Ellen DeGeneres to get a softball interview, after all the harm she’s done to so many people, is insulting.”


The source later clarified that DeGeneres was welcome to appear on Ellen, but that she would have to unconditionally agree to an unedited interview on the show’s terms.



“We’re not going to allow Ellen to screen any of Ellen’s questions,” the source insisted. “That would represent a conflict of interest.”


At press time, Ellen DeGeneres issued a public apology in the wake of backlash from her association with Ellen DeGeneres.