We’ve all been there—you eat one-fourth of a magic mushroom (because it’s Saturday), and begin to hallucinate your boyfriend. But whether your relationship is ten days old or ten years old, it’s good to engage in some honest self-reflection about whether this is your real boyfriend, or just a mushroom-induced hallucination. Let 2015 be the year you parse out whether you love your boo for who he really is, or if you prefer the version of him that appears to you in your weekly vision quest in the woods.
When you trip and hallucinate a ghostly specter of his likeness, does it make you warm and fuzzy in a way that his real self never could? It’s important to separate the feelings that are attached to your boyfriend and the feelings attached to the hallucinations you’re having of him.
When you’re high, does your boyfriend stay sober to make sure you don’t do anything stupid? Are you annoyed that he’s not as fun as your apparition of him? If you prefer the hallucination of your boyfriend to his real-life self, you probably don’t love him as much as you may be telling yourself you do.
Do you engage in such captivating conversation with your hallucination of him that you consistently sink into an unbearable depression and long to experience altered reality forever? When you’re missing your boyfriend, pay close attention to whether you just took a mushroom or not. If you have not, you are probably missing the one who is not real.
Does it make you flinch every time your man puts an arm around you, as if you’re cheating on your real love—your hallucination? Does your boyfriend seem “not himself” when you haven’t taken any mushrooms? If so, you may be dating someone who is not real.
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you might be in love with the shroom-induced hallucination of your man more than your man himself. Don’t fret, modern-day Juliet. You can be together—just not while you’re sober. This Valentine’s Day, trip away!