We all know Mark: He’s hot, nice, employed, and apparently single. If you were to ever go on a date with him, you’d obviously want to look perfect. But don’t worry; we’ve got you covered with these flirty and fun outfit ideas. Of course, these date night looks will only be suitable for women who don’t curl up in a fetal position when it comes to grabbing destiny by the plums and whisper-screaming, “You’re my bitch, bitch” right into its abstract concept of a face.
Glammed-Up Leggings
Leggings are hot and they’re not going anywhere. Show off that muscle tone you earned at the yoga studio by slipping into a pair of leggings and a loose, flowy top. You’ll be extra on-trend if you opt for edgy leather leggings or a cool studded pair. However, this only pertains to women who don’t balk at the thought of interacting with a man they find sexually attractive, like some kind of spineless no-good slug.
Bold Stilettos
We love a good pair of flats but admit it: there’s something powerful about a pair of sky-high heels. Rock your tallest pair—we’re loving matte pointed heels this season—to have him begging for a second date. This will not apply to women whose deep-seated insecurities have built an emotional wall too high to climb when it comes to asking out Mark. To those women: Getttt theeee fuckkkk outtttt.
Classic Pearls and Pumps
Remind him that you’re a lady he can take home to his mom by wearing a pair of classic pearls and sophisticated pumps. Pair it with a cleavage-baring dress to remind him these aren’t your mother’s pearls. Some women need to be extra nice to their moms, though, because they’ll probably have to move back home one day due to their sad and lonely love life that Mark will never be a part of. They might as well walk into the undertaker’s office and shout, “I’m dead,” ‘cuz they’re sure as shit not alive.
A Romantic White Dress
Nothing symbolizes romance better than a flowing white dress, and nothing symbolizes IDGAF like wearing a wedding dress to a first date with Mark. A lesser woman would probably say, “That’s insane, I would never come on that strong.” That’s right—cuz you’re not strong—you’re weak, chickenshit. Fuckin’ try me!
A Graphic-Print T-Shirt That Says “Fuckin’ Try Me”
It’s important to let guys know that you’re not some no-stones chump who can’t fight her own battles. Nothing’s worse than a girl who won’t make the first move, whether it’s asking a guy out for drinks or having his back during a bar fight. You’re no wilting lily! You’re ready for Mark now, tomorrow, 3 AM, anytime. Try me, Mark. Try. Me.
There you have it: a list of outfits perfect for any girl who isn’t afraid to drive the 18-wheeler of life right into Mark’s pants. But let’s be real, you could literally show up in anything and still one-up all those poor bastards too chickenshit to ask out Mark.
