Chunky Flatforms That Look Great on Teensy Elf Women Made of Spun Glass

If you have the body of an average American woman, you may be worried that chunky flatforms will make your feet look like monstrous hooves. You’re right! These fierce strappy lace-up boots weigh about four pounds, which means that they’re appropriate for decorative gossamer sprites weighing up to four pounds! These boots scream “I’ll be at this party all night, because I cannot physically lift my feet and also I am a small glass statuette.”