Chipotle Worker Pausing to Warn You’re Gonna Shit That Corn Out Whole Later

In a story coming out of your local Chipotle, the employee making your burrito bowl just paused to warn that you are going to shit all of that corn out whole later.


“Honestly, it gets annoying,” you say. “Like, I know they’re instructed to say that, but obviously I know! That’s why sometimes when I order I say, ‘Corn please, and yes I know I’ll shit out the niblets undigested later,’ but I don’t want to seem rude.”


While you’d rather skip the whole exchange, the worker in question confirms the necessity of the disclosure.


“I get that most people know the corn is going to come out like shiny little pieces of gold in a dark, wet mine,” says Josefina Lopez. “But it’s common practice and part of our training.”


“If we don’t warn a customer, then they come back to the restaurant later that day scared, angry, or even excited, it can be a major headache,” Lopez adds. “That’s why it’s better to just get everything out in the open.”


However, you’re not alone in wishing employees of the fast casual Mexican chain would keep mum about the medium-term cost of adding corn.


“I just feel put on the spot when I ask for corn and they tell me that corn has an outer shell made of a compound called cellulose, and since the human stomach doesn’t have enzymes that break down cellulose, I’m likely to shit it out whole later,” says one customer, Nia Howard. “It makes me feel like they want me to reconsider my choice or something. Like, is it wrong that I still want it?”


Feeling judged by having to reaffirm their desire for corn after hearing aloud in front of everybody in line about how they’ll dookie it out later is a common concern.



“We hear our customers,” says Chipotle spokesperson Rachel Silver. “I know there are even memes about it! But we will never stop this practice ever so you can stop asking.”


The chain has, however, phased out warning about the extra cost of guac.


“Everyone knows,” says Lopez. “Plus, your finances are none of my business.”