Bisexuality remains a highly stigmatized sexual orientation and identity, and there are a number of harmful stereotypes that seem to follow bisexual people wherever we go. Chief among them is the unfounded notion that bi people are naturally promiscuous and prone to a wandering eye that makes us unsuitable for monogamous relationships. These dangerous, fallacious ideas have plagued the community for too long, so as a bisexual person, I am here to say once and for all: being bi does not make me slutty, I just happen to be both.
One recurring myth is the idea that bisexual people “can’t make up their mind” about what gender they’re attracted to, and are therefore less able to commit to one partner. This idea, in addition to thoughtlessly reifying the gender binary, completely seeks to invalidate bisexuality as a comfortable and permanent state. I’m not “confused” or still figuring out my sexuality. I know that I am attracted to people of all genders, and I’m not struggling to make up my mind about who I want to sleep with because I want to sleep with lots of people and I will and that’s a nonissue for me.
Another more general issue facing the community is the widespread sexualization of bi people. People assume that bi women will be more inclined to participate in FMF threesomes (the “unicorn” stereotype) — another idea that centers heterosexual desire while objectifying and hypersexualizing bi women. I’m not some sexual accessory, and I’m not interested in fulfilling some straight dude’s threesome fantasy, but if you’re a cool queer couple, or particularly hot, please let me know because I do love threesomes. But it’s not because I’m bi. There are tons of boring bi people who want nothing to do with a threesome, and I honor them. Couldn’t be me, though.
So next time you go to perpetuate a bi stereotype, check yourself. You wouldn’t assume a straight woman was “slutty” because she’s attracted to men and therefore must be attracted to all men. And the stereotype of bi people being attracted to everybody is just as irrational. These stereotypes harm bisexuals who prefer monogamy, but they harm slutty bi’s just as much. No longer will hide my sluttiness in the shadows for fear of “confirming” a misconception for someone who was always going to hold it anyway. Slutty bi’s unite! Ooh, I should put that in my next Lex ad.
