Aging is a fact of life! But that doesn’t mean that we can’t take steps to stop our opponent, just like Tonya Harding’s husband took steps to stop hers in 1994! If you’re training to look ten years younger, here are some anti-aging creams that will make you look too young to have any knowledge about Tonya Harding or the reference we just made.
Olay Regenerist Micro-Sculpting Cream ($25, Amazon.com)
With this budget-friendly anti-aging cream, you can achieve results without breaking the bank! Or breaking your figure skating nemesis’s legs, which is what Tonya Harding’s ex-husband attempted to coordinate before the 1994 Olympics. This lotion will tone and smooth your skin so effectively, you’ll appear as if you would have no idea who we’re talking about when we mention Tonya Harding. Look out, baby face!
Dr. Dennis Gross C+ Collagen Deep Cream ($72, Nordstrom.com)
This cream is a bit pricey, but it’s worth the cost! And at least it didn’t cost you your first place medal at the 1994 National Championships like poor, troubled Tonya Harding. The collagen and sunflower seed oil in this moisturizer will flatten your wrinkles to the point where you’ll look like you’d be saying, “Wait, what’s happening?” through most of I, Tonya. You’re positively glowing!
Neutrogena Healthy Skin Anti-Wrinkle Night Cream ($12, Walmart.com)
Say goodnight to wrinkles! This cream, formulated for nightwear, is clinically proven to rapidly dull fine lines, kind of like how Tonya Harding’s skating career dulled rapidly after she pled guilty to conspiring to hinder prosecution in March of 1994. Slather on this lotion before bed and you’ll wake up with the skin texture of someone born in 1996 who definitely thought Tonya Harding was 100% fictional. Talk about skincare goals!
Fresh Lotus Youth Preserve Face Cream with Super 7 Complex ($45, Sephora)
Stick a middle finger up to Mother Nature by using this youth-preservation cream! Feel like you’ve still got it when this velvety lotion straightens out your wrinkles, almost like when an associate of Tonya Harding’s husband at the time went to Cobo Arena with the intention of straightening out the problem that was Nancy Kerrigan. It contains Super 7 Complex, and we don’t even know what that is. But it’ll leave your skin so smooth and supple that you’ll look like you’re so youthful that you don’t know who Tonya Harding is! You’re beating the system!
You can’t stop the aging process. But you can try one of these anti-aging creams if you want to appear so young that you don’t remember the due process that Tonya Harding was forced to face in court or who Tonya Harding even is in the first place!
