After two pumps and done, you and Tim are probably hungry. Here are some easy meals he’ll now have plenty of time to make for you after coming so fast, that this will hopefully make up for it.
So easy, a kid could make it. Or even your 28-year-old boyfriend who came on your pubes as he was trying to quickly put a condom on.
After a good five-second sesh, you both deserve a nice, hot meal. While he’s moving the food from fridge to microwave, go to the bathroom where you can sit on the toilet and consider either finishing yourself off or pretending it was good and turning on an episode of “Big Little Lies.”
Throw one can of clams, two cups of milk, heavy cream and a potato in a pan, add salt and pepper, heat to taste. Normally this meal would have been prepped pre-sex, but for some reason Tim thinks one lick is more than enough to get you going so why should you be wined and dined in addition to that?
Every time you guys eat hot dogs, Tim makes a joke that “Wieners are boys, buns are girls” and it never makes any sense, but whatever, he can pop them in the toaster or some shit, you don’t care. You are going to get some kind of satisfaction out of this night if it kills you.
You just came pretty hard alone in the bathroom. You take a requisite 5 minute bliss nap and ask for a nightcap. Tim, tired from heating up all the food in your apartment in the microwave and also tired from coming so fast, can at least pop a bottle.
See? It’s easy to eat a satisfying meal even after an unsatisfying sex encounter. Just make sure you take care of yourself, too because you deserve it!