How To Cook For Your 5’8” Boyfriend

Everyone knows that men love to eat! They especially love big hearty meals cooked with love by their lady. But what if your guy isn’t a tall, beefy dude who guzzles burgers all day? What do you cook for a slender, boyish man who barely grazes 5’8”? We’ve got ya covered! Here’s how to cook for that little guy of yours:


Just toss him a handful of blueberries.

Your sweet, baby-faced boy might not crave the big manly meat dinners that his taller peers require to keep them big and strong, so try not to overwhelm him with a giant meal right off the bat. Toss him some blueberries to see how he handles them. If he finishes them all, you can offer him a main course. If he leaves some uneaten, uh oh! His teensy belly is full! Yum!


Make him tiny food that looks just like real food.

You know those YouTube videos of people making adorably tiny food that looks just like real, regular sized food? This tactic can also be applied to cooking for your 5’8” boyfriend. Tiny food isn’t just super on trend, it’ll also make your itty bitty boyfriend feel bigger and taller! That must be what he wants right?? This isn’t just your weird hangup?



Hand him an enormous glass of 2% milk.

You definitely can’t forget to strengthen your baby’s bones! And, who knows, science and facts say otherwise, but maybe drinking a lot of milk will help him grow to a solid 5’10”. You know, a respectable man height. But he probably already tried that because this is something he must be obsessing about too, right? Like, this isn’t just your thing? Anyway, baby loves milk!


Your 5’8” bundle of joy will totally appreciate a home cooked meal designed specifically for his small build. He’ll also definitely love how much time you spend thinking about his height and making it a “thing”. Yay!