Weird Uncle Calling You Svelte Again

For the third time in the past five holiday seasons, your Uncle Kurt has reportedly looked you up and down and said that you’re “looking svelte” this year. Despite the fact that ‘svelte’ is a word that no one uses, Kurt likes to remind you it’s a compliment, and all he’s trying to say is that your body looks good.


“You girls these days are so sensitive,” says Kurt, after you explain you don’t like when he calls you that. “Back in my day it was a good thing when someone said you look good. You know, not like a stick figure – svelte.”


After some research, we were able to confirm that none of the women Kurt complimented really liked it that much.


“You’re looking really, really svelte,” says Kurt. “I know I told you that yesterday on Christmas Eve, but that turtleneck makes it even more so.”


Your family members have been quick to dismiss your discomfort with the whole situation.


“Oh come on, honey,” says your mom. “That’s just the way Kurt is. He’s just trying to fit in. You know Dolores left him a few years ago and he’s been sad ever since.”


Sources confirm this is a very bad reason to let your uncle comment on your body and that you side with Dolores, even though no one asked.



“Wait, so you’re mad someone is calling you thin?” says your sister, who is ultimately pretty toxic and obviously not aware that the word ‘svelte’ is a choice. “That’s so typical of you. Just take the compliment!”


Although no one in your family has any interest in hearing about your totally understandable dread in coming home for the holidays, you have decided that the only proper revenge is to wear an extremely loose frock next time you see your uncle.


“Woah, look at that outfit,” says Kurt, upon seeing you in what closely resembles a cloth garbage bag. “You have an incredible figure, you should show it off more.”


Despite the fact that you were giving Kurt clear signals that you were uncomfortable, he followed it up with: “I can’t believe you don’t have a boyfriend!”