Summer is approaching, so you better make the most of the time when it’s legal to wear those hot white jeans! We’ve rounded up our favorite white denim looks of the season that are just perfect for spilling wine all over:
AG White Flair (AG Jeans, $178)
These AG white flares are perfect for a casual wine tasting with your gals. They’ll also be totally ruined when you get a little too drunk about halfway through the day and slosh a full-bodied Syrah right into your lap. Shit! You’re not that drunk, guys!
Joe’s Destroyed Crop (Nordstrom, $189)
Distressed white Joe jeans are the perfect addition to that backyard BBQ on the Fourth of July. Pair them with a festive red and blue shirt then decide you’re going to “slap the bag” and drink directly from the boxed wine after your ex walks in with some skinny chick named Gina. Boxes are not meant for drinking out of, so it’ll definitely spill out all over those perfectly white jeans. ‘Tis the season!
True Religion Overalls (Nordstrom, $219)
Give into the trend and wear this white onesie at your favorite summer music festival! With an elaborate braid and decorative bra, these True Religion shorteralls will make you stand out while dancing to what’s left of The Cure. The best part of these overalls? Pockets, which are perfect for holding canned wine in those pockets that will inevitably burst when a drunk tank-topped dude jams into you. Those overalls were new, god damn it!
7 for All Mankind Cutoff Shorts (7 for All Mankind, $139)
Throw on these 7 for All Mankind shorts (hello, calves) and bike to the beach with your besties. But first stop at a sweet little beachside cafe for a Sangiovese rosé. Knock it off the table in exhaustion (wow, that bike ride was taxing) and ruin your crisp white shorts because that’s just what happens when you try to wear white.
Topshop ‘Jamie’ High Waisted Skinny (Topshop, $70)
You’re finally taking the plunge and going out with that music journalist you’ve been flirting with, but what to wear? These Topshop high-waisted skinnies will look effortlessly cool paired with a moto jacket and some statement lipstick and the Zinfandel that you order at the bar before he gets there. Fuck! The wine hasn’t even come yet but someone else spilled theirs all over you. #Summer
rag&bone/JEAN ‘Beach’ High Rise Bell Bottom (Nordstrom, $195)
These rag&bone flares are perfect for a gala event where you have to look like a classy bitch. Maybe you’re thinking about staying away from the complimentary wine, but self-doubt is for slobs! Just kidding, you are a slob because it all just cascaded down the entire front of your jeans before shattering on the floor.
Topshop Moto Daisy Cutoff Shorts (Topshop, $40)
Beat the system by rocking these smaller shorts that have way less surface area for you to accidentally spill on. Head up to that rooftop party and get your dance on—only to have a full glass of Merlot in your lap by the end of your sloppy performance. Should you just jump off the roof???????
Vince Bootcut Jeans (Nordstrom, $195)
Jen invited you to her super casual wedding. Does it count as wearing white to a wedding if it’s just your jeans? Who knows! Spill ON PURPOSE this time so that you have an excuse to leave and change. No one will suspect it because hey, at this point it’s kinda your thing, so own it.
Remember, you can’t wear white after Labor Day, so get it all out of your system before then! When you need a stylish pair of white jeans to destroy with wine stains, these are your best bet!
