So you’re in love? Congratulations! Now keep that shit to yourself.
Men struggle with the expectations of being in love with a woman, which is why this is one bombshell you really should keep under wraps. If you’re worried you’ll blurt out your true feelings in a heated moment, here are some key avoidance-heavy phrases to keep in mind. Whatever you do, don’t use the words, “I love you.”
Use a relatable metaphor that he is comfortable with.
Most men don’t want to hear about your dumb emotions – not because they don’t care, but because they don’t have any idea what you are talking about when you use words like “love” and “future.” Use vocabulary that he can relate to, so he doesn’t feel like you are bragging about your emotional maturity. For example, say something like “Being with you is like doing Molly without the comedown.” He’ll get the idea.
Say it in a different language.
Are you a foreign girl? Lucky you! He probably chose you because it will be hard for you to articulate your feelings! Next time he asks you to talk dirty to him in your native language, whisper Saranghae or Mahal Kita while sensually kissing his neck. He’ll never know the difference! If you don’t speak a foreign language, try using Pig Latin.
Say it when he’s sleeping.
Wait for him to fall asleep, which shouldn’t take long if you are doing your job. Then, look him right in his closed and dreaming eyes, and say exactly how you feel. If he wakes up and asks you what you said, start talking about your co-worker Chelsea until he falls back asleep. Deep down, he’ll know how you feel.
Don’t say anything and hope that he reads your mind.
You already do this all the time during sex, and it works great – you’ve finished at least four times in the eight months you’ve been with each other. Score! Just keep telling him you’re not looking for anything serious and hope that he guesses what you’re really thinking: “I love you.” You’ll never really know if he knows, but at least you never have to talk about it.
Tell him you’ll let him do anal if he wants.
Tell him you’ve been dying to try it. When you’re facing in the complete opposite direction from his beautiful face, yell, “I love you, Brian!” right into the pillow. He’ll instantly know he’s The One – the one person you’ve ever done anal with, that is! He’ll really know you meant that he’s the only man you’ve ever loved.
Now get out there and hide! Don’t just lie to yourself – lie to yourself to him!