The bond we share with our childhood pets is truly unparalleled. However, your parents may interpret wanting to talk on the phone with your dog when you have not spoken to them in two months as a bit strange. So, the next time you are on a call with your parents simply so they can put the dog on the phone, ask them these five simple questions beforehand:
“What have you been up to?”
Start off strong. This question will trick them into thinking that you actually care about their day and are not just itching to get a peek of your pup. You may have to sit through some boring stories about their dying parents or terrible coworkers, but it’ll all be worth it when you get to hear your dog panting on the other end.
“Have you visited any great parks lately?”
This will prime them into thinking about your dog. This will surely get them to start sharing stories about the new parks they took your beloved pet to. You just might be able to get them to send you cute pictures of their day playing with other dogs or chasing squirrels up some trees.
“If you could be any animal what would you be?”
They will probably say something dumb like “I’d want to be an eagle.” They are old, forgive them. When it is your turn, say that you want to be a dog because people tell you that you remind them a lot of a dog. Plus, dogs are loyal and affectionate beings who love to talk on the phone!
“Did you see that ASPCA commercial that came on last night?”
Those ASPCA commercials really know how to tug at our heartstrings and make us feel grateful for our four-legged babies. After they’ve stopped crying, your parents will surely start searching for your dog and bring her into the room to cuddle up next to them.
“Is that [insert dog’s name] eating a dryer sheet in the background?”
If the ASPCA commercial idea doesn’t work, try to bring your parents’ attention to the fact that your dog could be hospitalized or die at any moment. This question will cause them to panic and you will be able to divert the conversation back to your dog.
So try these lead-ins to get the people who created you to put your dog on the phone. It’s what you deserve. Plus, they can just text you if they want to communicate so badly, and tragically, the science is not yet there for dog texts. Here’s hoping!