Everyone knows that Ikea produces trendy and modern designs for an affordable price. However, IKEA locations are sparse, so even if you don’t pay much for your living room decor in actual dollars, you’ll make up for it in gasoline plus whichever relationship you decide to sacrifice in your quest for that KLÜRBENGLOP. Here are five Ikeas that actually don’t carry the bed you just drove three hours to get.
Stoughton, MA
The Ikea in Stoughton, Massachusetts attracts shoppers from much of New England and carries a vast array from the IKEA catalog. Of course, none of this actually helps you because you came for one specific item deemed too large to deliver and it is not in stock right now. Guess you’ll just have to settle for a plate of horse meatballs before getting back in the car for another three hours empty-handed. So much for your Saturday!
Sunrise, FL
At just a two-hour drive away, the Sunrise location is an awesome destination for a new roommate road trip! You can go halfsies on some sweet pillows to coordinate with the couch you picked out online. Too bad you didn’t call ahead! You didn’t know it but this location doesn’t carry the VLINCHËN couch, and now the fun roommate you thought you had just turned into an ice princess. Thanks to this trip, you’re not sure you want to live with her anymore. Too bad you had her cosign the lease!
Charlotte, NC
The IKEA in Charlotte, North Carolina has two floors and a café where you can sit down and come up with a game plan for how you are going to spend the rest of the afternoon you just wasted on I-95 to come purchase the now sold-out FLÜVENVAGEL. Might we recommend a cup of DROPENFLÜRFER while you peruse a brochure of things to do in Charlotte on this wasted afternoon?
West Chester, OH
You’ll never forget the IKEA in West Chester, Ohio because it was in the children’s section surrounded by KINDERCRÄPPENS that your boyfriend of eight months told you he never wants kids and you decided to break up. Wow, that was a sad and awkward three-hour drive home. Guess it’s a good thing that you didn’t get those sweet curtains for your apartment, since he’s moving out now.
Canton, MI
The IKEA in Canton, Michigan would have been a fun trip if only your dad hadn’t wandered off into the DORKENLÄGEN, never to be heard from again. There was one report that he was still lounging on the KLORPENFLÜPEN, but you’ll never know for sure. If he ever does decide to drop in, you won’t be ready for him since the trip was initially meant to find a MÅNGARLOFTEN and it was nowhere to be found. RIP, Dad.
Be sure to visit one of these poorly stocked Ikeas next time you’re looking to spend the better part of your day driving all while putting a relationship through the wringer. Go in with an open mind, but remember, IKEA can only show you what deep down you already know to be true: You should have ordered from Amazon.
