How to you tell your family “I’ve lost my way in life” without saying anything at all? Try these five holiday looks that let them know you aren’t just dressing down – you’ve given up altogether.
Fanny Pack
A tasteful holiday clutch is too much effort when you’re chronically unemployed. Fill this hip sack with all your favorite anti-depressants and mood enhancers and remind your loved ones that no amount of encouragement from them will give you back your former life.
Pajamas
When you’re down and out, who needs shoes? Wearing a mismatched pajama set to your family’s holiday party will finally stop uncle Tom from asking if you’re seeing anyone. This casual outfit screams, “I have completely given up on ever having sex again.”
Too-Tight Skinny Jeans
Nothing spells ‘denial’ like wearing clothes that no longer fit you. Don your old “sexy” outfit and let your fat rolls spill out from every angle. Make it clear that you have no interest in either updating your wardrobe or losing weight.
Your High School Boyfriend’s Letterman Jacket
High school was the best time of your life and everyone in your family knows it because you keep telling them how your ex-boyfriend, Trev, is married with three kids and that could’ve been you if you had only gotten into the same school as him.
A Dirty Sleeping Bag:
The lowest of the low, this hot holiday trend piece says, “I have a drug problem and it might be meth and I’m not getting help.” The family will definitely get the picture and avoid talking to you altogether.
