Nothing can get you through a difficult time like the friends who know you best. Unfortunately, sometimes friends are also busy or oblivious, and don’t notice that you’re having a very hard time over something serious happening in your life. Here are some very obvious cries for help that your friends will either respond to helpfully, or text you back “😭” and nothing else.
“I’m fine, but I ate two boxes of cereal yesterday.”
When someone starts a sentence with “I’m fine,” it’s usually a sign that you should start worrying. But you texted that to three of your friends plus a group text and apparently no one got that memo, because your best friends both responded, “Aww,” your backup friends responded “😭,” and your group text changed the subject to Rihanna’s new look. Better luck next time!
“I’m totally fine, I just keep crying.”
This one makes your emotional state explicitly clear, so your friends can’t possibly overlook it right? Oh, someone just texted back, “LOL me too! Our periods must be in sync.” That would be a cute thing to say if you hadn’t been legit sobbing all day because you lost your job or are going through a breakup, or live in a constant state of existential dread. Thanks, friend, but you’re gonna need to actually care now.
“Look, I’m fine, but I’m really struggling with something right now.”
If your friends still don’t feel like giving you the support you need, try posting a vague status about your suffering on Facebook. You’ll probably still just get a bunch of “sad” reacts, but at least it will be a bunch of them, plus a comment from your friend’s mom who is VERY concerned. Also, this will make it more likely for your closest friend to text you asking if you’re okay. Tell her everything you’ve ever felt, but don’t be surprised if she throws you a 😭, which is not even the saddest sad emoji. She’s barely trying.
“HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!”
If your friends are truly showing no signs of giving a shit about your devastation, maybe text them literal cries for help. Then they have to do something, anything, that includes actual words! Because you need this, you need someone to talk to you besides those damn mocking yellow circles with their faces and their fake tears. YOU DON’T KNOW TRUE SUFFERING! YOU’RE A PICTURE!
Next time you’re in a very dramatic sinkhole of emotions, reach out to your friends. And when they don’t give you the attention and devotion you need to feel better, scream and scream. Eventually, they will have to understand that emojis are not love!
