Most women find that their dating pool starts to dry up after 40, but you’re not most women. You’re an old eccentric weirdo with an insane sense of style and a totally jacked up libido. Well, we’re definitely not here to judge, only to help! Here are the 4 guys you’ll totally date in your 70’s, you kooky old slut!
The Widower
Oh, you just know you’ll date this sad older gentlemen when you’re cruisin’ for some poon-tang you freaky old horn dog! He’s emotionally intelligent, age appropriate, and as horny as shit. Help him mourn the death of his dear wife by getting all up in his nasties with your old bits. Ride him like the 1941 Oldsmobile that was popular when you were born!
The Equally Kooky Professor
Your otherworldly kookiness can only be matched by a loveably absent-minded professor. Sure, these dotty old men are fun movie tropes, but did you know you can fuck them?? You can, and you will, you old slutty ding dong!
The Male Nurse
Ok. So you’ve started spending a bit more time in and out of hospitals and clinics. No big deal! These are perfect places to meet a hot male nurse, or doctor if you’re ready to really play the game. Most of these dudes have already seen you naked, and at the bare minimum they’ve taken a deep look at the irregular mole on your back. So open wide you crazy old sex bitch, because the doctor is in(side of you!)
The Horny Young Fuccboi
You’re in your 70’s! You’ve lived. So why not live a little more by dating a full on fuccboi. Everybody’s accidentally dated a fuccboi, so better late than never, ya know? Like every woman before you, you will hate this guy. Lesson learned!
Sex and dating are not just for young people, and you know it, you kooky old ho. So put a sock on the door so your grandkids don’t come in and get to fucking, you horny old goofball!
