Are you a conflict-avoidant, sensitive soul? Does the idea of confronting your roommate about his unwashed dishes make you break out into hives? Well, here are four conflict-resolution techniques that will never be as effective as just saying, “Actually, never mind!”
Start with “I” statements.
The key to being confrontational without being combative is to make sure you’re speaking firmly from the first-person perspective. For example, start with “I feel like you’re avoiding chores” or “I don’t like that you’ve engaged in a months-long sexual affair with my girlfriend of five years.” Unfortunately, none of these statements will resolve the conflict quite like you telling your roommate you want to talk, then chickening out and saying, “Um….honestly, it was nothing! Love you, man.” That’s what I thought, little bitch.
Meet in a neutral location.
You don’t want someone to feel like you’re confronting them on “your turf”. Pick a neutral meeting location, like a park or maybe—and this is just the first thing that came to us—your girlfriend’s house! This’ll ease the tension and leave plenty of room for you to start the convo with, “Actually, don’t even worry about it!” The neutral location also has the added benefit of making it super easy for your roommate to continue having sex with your girlfriend.
Butter them up with a pre-conflict gift.
The easiest way to bring someone to the bargaining table is with a gift, perhaps a small coffee or a pastry. If you’re feeling really generous, maybe pick up a nice bracelet that made you think of them! Then, when you’re about to bring up the conflict, present your opponent with the—oh, he likes it. He just gave it to your girlfriend. Oop, they’re kissing. Yeah, better just sit this one out with an “Actually, never mind.”
Follow these tips and you’ll conquer your fear of conflict in no time by simply not engaging in conflict at all! Do you feel good? We feel good. Oh, did you want to say something? Yeah, us neither.
