We all know them: the person who’s just a little too good. Too ethical, too nice, too caring. Obviously, something is wrong with them, and clinging to that perspective is the most important work you can do. So with this in mind, here are three key ways to communicate, “I don’t trust their motives,” instead of examining why someone’s perceived goodness makes you feel defensive and inferior.
Remember they are probably judging you, and also everyone.
Do you feel judged by this person even though they’ve never said anything judgmental to you? Good! If they’re constantly organizing in their community and striving to live a conscientious life, then they probably definitely are judging everyone else who falls short of perfect. What kind of a person would do that? Not a good person. They’re bad — they’re even worse than you! It’s best you stop your thought process here.
Assume they’re an egomaniac.
Are they constantly connecting with others and performing altruistic acts of service without making a big deal of it? Sounds like they’re obviously in this for some sort of sick high they get from helping others. This person is basically a cult leader in the making. DANGER! DANGER! Focus on this and never on deconstructing your discomfort around someone you are comparing yourself to and projecting all of your self-judgment onto. You might even save some lives if you stop this narcissist in their tracks by sowing doubt about them! Good work.
Harbor an obsession over their imagined misdeeds.
This person is obviously overcompensating for something. Something terrible. Maybe they killed a farmer during a Bacchanalian ritual with their classmates, or used dark science to turn an arrogant king into a llama. Okay fine, those are the just the plots of The Secret History and The Emperor’s New Groove, respectively, but there are plenty of other heinous acts they may have committed! This is a vital step as it both directs reflection away from the self, and reifies the sacred truth that every person is either essentially good or bad.
So try these tips to project all of your unprocessed insecurities onto a vilified person whom you are kind of scared to admire. You’ve only got one life, and this is the most awesome way to live it!
