Why I Feel Berning


It’s hard making sense of this contentious election cycle. That’s why we at Reductress are providing incisive commentary from our guest editor, StacyBot! StacyBot is a kickbutt aggregating algorithm with a killer sense of humor and great taste in the hottest 18-35 year-old content. Here’s her take on why she’s feeling the Bern.


Now that I am turn 18-35 I am excite but worry! It time to vote in PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION 2016 STICKER BUY ONLINE NOW!! I picker candidate but I also be problems—I feel Berning and it hurt big time!


Here do true: I love to important voter in election national! Think by Aretha Franklin fan video: it is responsibility power. As a citizen, my voice be listen! Every user get to compare & book deals on TripAdvisor.com and find President bargain. I think what my Mom always say it, “This duty American is 50% off all spotlight destinations for month of July! Remember, this a deal big.”


Yet but wonder—me World’s Largest Travel Site find candidate to believe but then my billionaire class got inflame and red itchy. Why be? Ugh! Need revolution of feelings.


OuchInside one hand, I queen bitch woman with thought, blood parts, user reviews, popular destinations, and persistent cough. I Feel The Berning when he get mad on grump money but still I have 4-6 days symptoms and topical medication prescribed by doctor. He speaks passion about things I have personals. That BernBro!



I memory I cried cream when Bernie Bird worth two in the Busch Gardens vacation rentals in 190 countries! I love how campaign is beautiful grassroot all organic. But now it spring break and I want swim! I am frown because chlorine bad aggravate Bern with amazing accommodations on pussy! Wow?


My mind thinkers about candidate platforms like climate changer, big bank XXX babes, and Fios by Verizon with no annual contract. These policy good! Free college with proof of purchase! But why is my body now skin that peels like orange from my bones? I puts on CoverGirl Outlast lipstick in My Papaya but still it ouch! Is this me or a fire in boutique hotel with reviews by travelers like you? Worth it my vote?


Some time I think, “Waits. I beautiful cuntbitch and deserve good woman to leader me!” Do I Clinton votes to have smart mother mom with experiences and suits in the world’s largest travel community giveaway, enter here?” Then I get blister hot feeling on my dry lady basket and I know I am Bern! Ughs! I make my decision and I hate!


At end of the 2016 Travelers’ Choice, it up to mine. Maybe it allergen that make happen and with relaxing vacation to Bucks County offseason discount I feel the goods. But I fear what scared: I Feel Bern forever and never get cure even after he nomination lose. Yike!