As much as we hate to admit it, we all rely on beauty products to throw at the spider in the corner of the room. But between marketing, labeling, and the size of the spider, choosing which product to use can be overwhelming. Well, the search is over, because we’ve compiled a list of the hottest products on the market that are absolutely perfect for throwing at the spider in the corner of your room. Take a look!
Shiseido Future Solution LX Total Regenerating Body Cream
This body cream tackles even tough-to-treat areas, like knees, elbows, or the corner of your bedroom where that spider is certainly lurking.
Vichy Aqualia Thermal Riche Cream
One of the most powerful moisturizers out there, this hyaluronic acid-based cream “locks water into skin,” and, better yet, is a small heavy object that is fully capable of squashing a spider.
L’Oréal Paris Advanced Haircare Volume Filler Thickening Shampoo
According to Elle, this miracle shampoo works “like a push-up bra for limp hair” by increasing the diameter of each follicle. Your roots will never see it coming, and neither will that terrifying hairy spider in the corner of your room.
Lancôme‘s Grandiôse Mascara
The innovative swan neck and angled brush of Lancôme’s Grandiôse mascara is perfect for both the hard-to-reach lashes in the corner of your eye and the hard-to-reach spiders in the corner of your room.
La Roche Posay Effaclar BB Blur
Treating stress-related acne doesn’t stop when the pimple disappears. It stops when the spider in the corner of your room has seen its life flash before its many eyes. La Roche Posay Effaclar with BB Cream is is designed to help treat redness left behind by pimples and it also comes in a tube that, if thrown with enough force, could easily kill a spider.
Lorac Porefection Concealer
Perfect for both concealing unwanted blemishes and throwing at that piece of shit spider who thinks it can get away with hanging out in the corner of your room where you can’t reach it, this concealer gets the job done. Fuck that spider.
SK-II Facial Treatment Essence Eye
At $95 a bottle, this stuff will set you back a hefty sum. But remember: $95 is a small price to pay for beautiful eye skin and the peace of mind that comes from knowing that eight-legged freak has kicked the bucket.
Korres Greek Yoghurt Cleansing Wipes
These wipes will leave your face feeling refreshed and moisturized. Sure, tossing just one of these wipes might not to the trick, but trust, the whole package weighs more than enough to smash the little fucker into oblivion
Olay ProX Anti-Aging Nightly Micropeel
The Olay ProX Anti-Aging Nightly Micropeel is the perfect solution for unwanted splotchiness and also unwanted arachnids in the corner of your room. DIE, ASSHOLE SPIDER!
Perricone MD Blue Plasma Cleansing Treatment
This stuff works wonders and you might find yourself using it more than the recommended twice daily, because you are using it a third time to throw at the spider in the corner of your room. Ah, how you love watching it twitch and bleed.
Hope this list helps you decide which spider-squashing product to buy next! Just remember: It’s not what’s on the outside that counts, it’s what’s on the inside of the room, and knowing that it soon will be dead. Happy shopping!
