10 Labels to Read During Your Gynecological Exam

You’re at your OBGYN’s office and you left the iPad at home. Uh oh! How will you concentrate on something other than your doctor’s cold, latex-covered hands? Not to fear—just look around you! There is tons of reading material waiting to be discovered all over the exam room.

 

1. Cotton swab packaging

Distract from your discomfort by guessing what language “sterile” is written in.

 

2. Medical waste bin

He’s really taking his time down there isn’t he? Anyways, isn’t it funny that they call them sharps ? Why not just needles?

 

3. Tag from hospital gown

It’s like they use more lube every time. Hmm. Tumble dry? I hope these are getting washed often.

 

4. Your doctor’s nametag

Just. Don’t. Make. Eye-contact.

 

5. Mailing address on Redbook magazine

Would it be weird to reach over and grab this during the exam? It couldn’t get any weirder could it?

 

 

6. Urine sample

Study your handwriting! Is it more like your mom’s handwriting? Your dad’s?

 

7. Lubricating jelly

Is this different from drugstore lube? I wonder if people steal it.

 

8. Speculum guidelines-for-use

It should just say “torture device.” He should’ve gotten what he needed by now.

 

9. Someone else’s urine sample

Study their handwriting! What does it say about them? Do you think they have a UTI, too?

 

10. Birth control displays

They should’ve taught us something about all this in school. When will this end?!!!