News ARCHIVES

Woman Still Not Seeing Results of Doing Yoga Once Every Three Years

REPORT: Yeah, You Are Bad at Hanging Out and Everyone Has Noticed

Woman Fantasizing About Pastoral Cottage Would Definitely Settle for Unabomber Shed

Slack Introduces New Status Telling Boss You’re at Your Computer but Just Vibing

Study Finds Ice Cream Tastes Best out of the Carton While Crying and Naked and Holding a Knife

Woman’s Five-Year Plan Just Getting IUD Removed

Straight Woman Disappointed She’s Gone Half of Pride Without Anyone Calling Her Queen

Scientists Confirm Allergy Season Is Forever Now

REPORT: Friend Is in Europe and You’re Going to Fucking Hear About It

Experts Announce That You Can Say ‘My Birthday Is Coming Up’ for Like 9 Months

Vape Friend and Cigarette Friend Find Truce by Smoking Weed Together

Magic! Woman Transforms Quick 30-Minute Recipe Into Life-Threatening Three-Hour Recipe

Queerbaiting? Rock Climber Using Carabiner

Elusive Dad Spotted in Background of Mom’s FaceTime

Woman Decides New Notebook Too Beautiful to Fill With Her Shitty Ideas

Woman’s Art Really Just Thinly Veiled Jab at Roommate

Woman Who Doesn’t Want Kids Just Going to Have to Rely on Money Taking Care of Her When She’s Old

Woman Most Creative When Finding Excuses Not to Pursue Her Art

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