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‘French Fries Are So Bad For You,’ Says Seagull That Wants Your Fries

My Work Doesn’t Define Me, but Only Because I’m Not Succeeding at It Right Now

IN: Penis! OUT: Penis. IN: Penis!

It’s Zaddy Season: Time To Do Your Part to Keep the Zaddy Population Under Control

QUIZ: Are You A Boobs Man, An Ass Man, or Have You Found God?

Woman Undergoes Hypnotic Regression to Recall Date of Last Period

Dad Calling You Because He Somehow Knows You’re High Right Now

Why I Don’t Look Down on People, Even Though Everyone Seems So Small From on Top of My Unicycle

Blowjob Tips That Are All Pretending His Dick Is an Outshine Fruit Bar

Woman Who Once Was Afraid of Being Perceived as Gay Now Offended You Don’t Perceive Her as Gay

How to Stay Cool When Certain Drugs Make You Fall Asleep

I Felt Silly For Mistaking My Tower Fan For A Murderer. Then It Tried To Kill Me.

QUIZ: Do You Really Like Meat or Do You Just Like Salt and Drama?

Projection Much? Dad Thinks You Should Have a Job

REPORT: Birds Have Too Many Hard Parts

I’m a Total Slut for Scented Candles and Also Cum

5 Shorts That Let Everyone Know You Denounce the Prophecies of the Groundhog

5 Balloon Jeans That Will Help You Finally Seduce the Old Guy From ‘Up’

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