In a story that psychologists would love to catch wind of emerging from Tallahassee, FL, 29-year-old Patrick O’Brien just said, “You’re probably cheating,” out of the blue to his girlfriend of four years, which suggests he is probably projecting.
Sorry, bro! We don’t make the rules!
“I just don’t see where this accusation is coming from, considering we were just sitting in silence at a coffee shop doing our work,” Patrick’s girlfriend, Tamara Green, told reporters gathered at the scene. “We hadn’t really said anything for 40 minutes, which was fine of course, but when did he decide – during those 40 minutes – that I was cheating?”
The abrupt and baseless nature of this claim suggests Patrick has been thinking about the concept of cheating a lot, likely because he either is actively doing it or considering it.
“I mean, you’re out at night all the time!” he continued, levying extremely general complaints about behavior that doesn’t suggest anything out of the ordinary at all. “And you love to get lunch with people! You’re always getting lunch and meeting people at places.”
As far as whether she “is always getting lunch and meeting people at places,” Tamara admits it’s true.
“Wait, sorry, I like to get lunch with people so I’m cheating?” she asked, extremely confused. “How does that follow? Plus, you know who I get lunch with! It’s almost always Adrienne and Harper.”
“Ah-ha!” Patrick retorted, as if Tamara had revealed something damning. “Almost always! So you admit it! I knew you were cheating, which would theoretically make it okay if I were too.”
At this point, Tamara picked up on the fact that when you’re pointing one finger, the other four are pointing back at you, so she figured she should probably start investigating her boyfriend, too.
“Are you cheating? You’re making it sound like you’re cheating,” she retorted, finally getting Patrick on his heels.
Sources confirm Patrick then got really quiet and pretended to go back to doing his work, muttering, “This is stupid,” as if he was not the one who brought it up in the first place.
According to the nearby barista, Rayna Forester, Patrick is definitely cheating, and with her specifically.
“I honestly didn’t realize they were dating because he said they were just friends,” she told reporters, clocking out of her shift to go spill the beans to Tamara. “He’s projecting as fuck.”
