You Wish! 5 Stains That Look Like Cum But Aren’t

Greek yogurt is (hopefully) thicker and more opaque than the average person’s cum, but still, when you spilled a little on the arm of your couch you thought, for a fleeting moment, “that sort of looks like jizzjazz.” Well, there have been no delights, afternoon, night, or morning on your couch, so it’s just an already funky dairy product that you’d better get to dabbing with a sponge. Keep dreaming!