When Viviana Foreman woke up this morning and remembered that she made brunch plans with her closest friends, she immediately fell into pure dread. But luckily, as soon as she left her home, she injured herself so badly that she couldn’t even attend anyway!
“I was on my way out the door when I tripped and fell down the three flights of stairs that lead up to my apartment,” Viviana told reporters, wearing a full body cast. “At first, I was pretty upset. I mean, no one wants to fall down 30 individual steps! But once I took a second to fully grasp the situation, I realized that it wasn’t all that bad. Honestly, all the excruciating pain I felt was immediately replaced with the relief of not having to socialize!”
That’s great, we guess!
While Viviana was celebrating her new status as a patient, the friends she was planning on meeting were far less enthusiastic about her vulnerable state.
“When we heard that Viviana fell down three flights of stairs, we were totally gutted,” her friend Tyala Peters said. “I called her immediately at the table so that we could see if she was alright, but as soon as she picked up the phone, she wouldn’t stop laughing. She must have been on some really heavy pain pills. The whole thing is just so tragic.”
When reporters asked her about this statement, Viviana started to laugh again.
“Oh, I’m only taking Advil,” Viviana told reporters. “Sorry. I’m just so happy that I can sleep in and finally catch up on Vanderpump Rules, which is what I wanted to do today anyway! Well, you know what they say: Everything happens for a reason.”
Not only was Viviana thrilled about missing brunch, she was also looking forward to what being hospitalized would stop her from doing in the near future.
“I don’t even have to go to work tomorrow!” Viviana told reporters while her doctor urged her to relax. “This is literally like a vacation! Actually, it’s better than a vacation because I didn’t even have to travel anywhere out of the city! Yeah, I could get used to this…”
At press time, all of Viviana’s excitement and relief quickly turned into complete terror when she was presented with her hospital bill.