Woman Follows Through On Plans She Made While Super Drunk

drunk girls

After a pitcher of margaritas, 29-year-old Chicago native Jessica Knight—self-proclaimed “queen of blackout promises”—actually followed through on plans she made the night before.


Early Friday morning, Knight slurred the suggestion that everyone at the table, “should totes go bowling tomorrow!” Hours later, she actually followed through, organizing and attending the event.


“When I got Jessica’s text Saturday morning, I thought for sure she was either already drinking again or maybe her phone had gotten hacked,” comments Knight’s long-term boyfriend Mitch, “But after a pretty telling emoji scenescape, I knew it was actually her.”


According to sources, Knight has a long history of making blitzed plans and never, ever following through.



“Once after a several sangrias, Jess got everyone in the bar to form an intramural volleyball team,” comments Knight’s close friend Haley. “Like she went person to person and had them register for the team. She even drafted a mockup of the team shirts on a bar napkin after a round of Jameson. The next day we all got to the beach but Jess never showed up or answered her texts. We had to play in a league for 8 weeks.”


Several of Jessica’s co-workers also remarked that drunken plans is “sort of Jessica’s thing,” and that they’ve all learned not to take anything she says seriously after she’s imbibed any alcohol.


Knight admits that sometimes she can be a bit “flakey” when she’s had a few “Sauvy Blancies,” adding that it’s not her fault she’s a dreamer who also suffers from very serious hangovers.


As for why she changed her behavior this time, Jessica admits that it was a total fluke and unlikely to ever happen again.