27-year-old Elisa Juarez has a very simple everyday routine: apply sunscreen, drink eight ounces of water, eat three square meals, and take two Advil pills every time she feels the slightest bit of pain – and it’s been this way ever since she was in eighth grade.
How does she do it? Oh, yeah — Advil!
“Ibuprofen has been my saving grace ever since I started getting premenstrual cramps,” Elisa told reporters. “Literally nothing else worked. From then on, I realized that it was the only thing I could rely on whenever I got a headache, backache, cramps, or any other sort of unpleasant feeling. And I’m never not feeling all of those things.”
Yes, girl! Dull that pain! Build up a tolerance!
When asked if she could recall a time when she didn’t have Advil coursing through her veins, Elisa took a long pause.
“I guess I have one memory on the playground when I didn’t even know what Advil was,” she said. “God, I feel so sorry for that little girl.”
Despite Elisa probably not needing Advil at that young of an age, she’s still very thankful that it’s such an integral part of her life today.
“I don’t know where I’d be without it,” she said. “At this point it’s muscle memory. My arm just reaches for my pill bottle every four to six hours, like clockwork. I don’t even need to look at the time anymore, like, ever!”
Body clock slay!
Very few people have seen Elisa when she wasn’t currently on Advil, but the ones who have report that it is not a pretty sight.
“One time we went to the zoo and she forgot her Advil bottle at home,” Elisa’s girlfriend Magdalena said. “I thought it wouldn’t be that bad since we were going back home soon, but she totally flipped out. She yelled at the security guards about the lack of monkeys at the zoo for 20 minutes. Which, like, yeah, they didn’t have that many, but still.”
After the zoo incident, Elisa now keeps her Advil bottle on her with a carabiner that connects to her belt loop at all times.
“I never want to experience life without Advil again,” Elisa said. “And I literally don’t care if it ruins my liver or whatever.”
Understandable!
