In a story shocking paleontologists everywhere, 23-year-old Trinity Smith has uncovered fossils from a previously unknown species of dinosaur while vehemently searching for her vape.
Okay, woman in STEM!
According to reports, Trinity has been vaping for over two years, and she is so addicted to her nicotine pacifier that she’ll dig past concrete, dirt, and bedrock to find it. But this time when Trinity looked, she found a lot more than her e-cigarette.
“After I had turned my whole room upside down trying to find my vape,” she said, “I started digging past the floorboards and into the ground. Sooner or later, I heard a big thud, and that’s when I realized I hit something beneath the surface, but sadly it still wasn’t my vape.”
Even though she ended up finding her vape in her own pocket later, Trinity also discovered the full skeleton of a Achelodracosaurus, a species of dinosaur that was completely unknown to the world until now.
Thank God she didn’t quit vaping a year ago when she said she would!
“I was shocked when Trinity made such a historic discovery,” Trinity’s girlfriend Mika said. “Usually when she loses her vape, she just gets really agitated and she doesn’t stop tearing the place apart until she finds it, so I’m glad that her vape-related panic can finally be used for good!”
We couldn’t agree more!
Paleontologists around the world are amazed at the discovery, especially since it came from a twenty-something with a vaping addiction and not a scientist who graduated from an Ivy League school with honors or something.
“We’ve done countless years of research about this specific genus of dinosaur,” Head of Paleontology at Yale University, Dr. Janice Richmond, said. “But without this groundbreaking discovery, we would’ve never known about this species. That’s why we at Yale’s School of Science are publicly thanking Trinity and the company Puff Bar for their contribution to science.”
While vaping is still bad for Trinity, it’s doing a hell of a lot for the study of dinosaurs!