In the middle of a sweltering summer, 24-year-old Brooklyn resident Vanessa Sullivan is taking the weather into her own hands by drinking a pumpkin spice latte in 100-degree weather in hopes of manifesting the fall season early this year.
“I’ve read a few articles about manifesting online,” Vanessa told reporters. “And I’ve learned that you really have to believe in an alternate reality for it to come true. That’s why I’m guzzling down this piping hot pumpkin-flavored drink even though I’m dripping sweat and the flavor is literally making me gag.”
Besides the high temperatures all around, Vanessa is also facing challenges to obtain these coveted lattes in the first place.
“It takes a lot to order a pumpkin spice latte in the summer,” she said. “And I’m not just talking about the heat. Most Starbucks employees won’t even let you order it out of season unless they have some of the expired flavoring left over from last fall, and that’s pretty hard to find.”
“But to make fall happen right now and take away the summer completely?” she continued. “I’d do just about anything, like go to 23 different Starbucks in one morning.”
Despite it definitely still being summer, many are inspired by what Vanessa is trying to do.
“I would love it if summer was magically over tomorrow,” Starbucks employee, Mason Leeman, said. “So I’m happy to give her pumpkin spice lattes even though no one else orders them. More power to her!”
However, on her impact on others and the environment, Vanessa remained humble.
“It’s just my spiritual practice to focus on manifestation,” she told us. “Even though I’m bringing fall closer and closer with every pumpkiny sip, it isn’t about me. It’s about the universe at large, I mean venti! Hahaha.”
Unfortunately, the rest of what Vanessa said was unintelligible due to her severe dehydration.
At press time, Vanessa has started incorporating turtleneck sweaters and fleece-lined pants into her summer wardrobe as well.
“Whatever it takes,” she said, after being admitted to the emergency room for heatstroke.
