Jessica Brooks of Windsor, Massachusetts was miraculously rescued from a potentially uncomfortable stop-and-chat, thanks to temperature changes uncharacteristic of a New England autumn.
“I just wasn’t in the mood to make it a whole thing,” said Brooks after running into her boring former neighbor, Claire. “We used to speak in the elevator now and then. But I don’t have to choose between a conversation about her dog’s hip dysplasia and seven flights of stairs anymore.”
After exchanging pleasantries, Claire made the conversation-ending move by sighing, “I just can’t believe it’s already October,” which was both entirely relatable yet difficult to respond to with any meaningful detail.
Although Brooks was concerned she could have started a rousing debate about climate change, Claire smiled and responded, “Well, I won’t keep you,” which Brooks was careful not to take for granted. “If it wasn’t for the puddle of perspiration collecting on my upper-lip in mid-October, I might have been in that Target parking lot for the rest of my fucking life.”
The unusual fall weather has since saved Jessica from a slew of other encounters that may have resulted in slight discomfort otherwise, including, but not limited to: her boss, hair stylist and her divorce lawyer, Neil.
“I just really want to thank the weather right now for giving me the opportunity to end this conversation. Unseasonably warm weather–everyone can relate to that. At least enough for them to stop talking and let me go on with my life.”