Onlookers were shocked last Tuesday as they bore witness to the unfolding of a bizarre scene in downtown Brooklyn: Savanna Garcia, a 24-year-old graphic designer, was reportedly seen looking extremely cool in shorts?
One witness, Michaela Stern, gave her account of the incident.
“I was walking down the street, and there she was on a hot summer’s day effortlessly pulling off a pair of mid-thigh denim cutoffs,” said Stern. “I was bewildered. Like, who looks cool in shorts? When I wear shorts I look like a middle schooler who Freaky Fridayed with her aunt.”
Multiple strangers were said to have stopped Garcia on the street to ask her how she managed to appear cool in bottoms that exposed her knees?
“She must be a model, or some sort of white water rafting guide,” said another witness. “Most people wearing shorts look like a dad dropping off his kids at camp.”
“I love Savanna,” said Horowitz, “but I have a hard time trusting people who manage to be fashionable during the summer? Like, who the hell can pull this shit off?”
Garcia’s shorts-wearing venture reached its peak when a casting agent scouted her on the street to model for Levi’s summer line.
“The moment I saw Savanna, I knew: this is the next face of shorts,” said the agent. “It is almost unheard of for an individual to successfully incorporate a pair of shorts into their outfit and create a cohesive, attractive look.”
However, Garcia is uninterested in capitalizing on her propensity looking good in shorts?
“Shorts are in no way central to my identity,” said Garcia. “I don’t want to be ‘the face of shorts.’ I just wear them to be comfortable.”
Unfortunately for those seeking closure, Garcia’s ability to look cool in shorts remains an impenetrable mystery.
Garcia’s doctor has yet to respond to calls asking if she can pull off a hospital gown.
