In a triumph of sustainability emerging from Ann Arbor, MI, 25-year-old Taylor Winngald has decided to keep her decades-old pair of Converses just in case dirty, beat-up, torn apart shoes come back in style sometime soon.
“You never know when the fashion cycle will pick these bad boys up again,” Taylor told reporters gathered at the scene. “I mean, low rise jeans from the early aughts just came back, so who’s to say shitty disgusting sneakers that you wore to your 11th grade prom because you thought they were subversive won’t come back, too?”
Reporters feel like it’s a pretty safe bet those won’t come back.
Taylor maintains that the Converses could absolutely have a second life if people finally embrace how cool it is to get your feet extra wet when it rains because there are holes in the soles of your shoes.
She added, “I would hate to give these away and then turn around four years from now and see that they’re all over TikTok.”
Reporters just thought that comment was interesting considering they never said she should “give them away.” They would, instead, recommend burning or shredding the shoes.
“I can smell those things from here,” Taylor’s friend, Yuri Groff, said when asked for comment at a local coffee shop. “She absolutely needs to throw them out. I’ve been saying this since 2016, when they were already a decade old.”
As far as where Taylor will be storing the shoes, sources confirm she has shoved the sneakers so far back in her closet that she will likely not think of or see them again. That is, until she moves apartments or is looking for an old laptop box with the serial number on it.
“In today’s fast fashion cycle, it’s just such a shame to see quality products go to waste,” she continued while piling other shoes on top of the converse in the back of her closet. “We need to be conscious of the impact our clothes have on the environment! That’s why I refuse to throw these away even after I had that dream where they were begging for the sweet release of death.”
As of press time, Taylor has also decided to keep the shirt she cropped way too high just in case bad quality and poor fit clothing comes back, too.
