In a story coming out of Brooklyn, NY, 25-year-old Azalia Wilson has been eating takeout and fast food for about two weeks now, which has led her to start craving a nice, warm, home cooked meal. However, she clarifies that this home cooked meal must be made by someone else, due to the fact that she doesn’t want to make it herself.
“While I love ordering Thai food and eating it for the remainder of the week, I do miss eating meals like my mom’s homemade mac ’n’ cheese, or a roasted chicken dinner,” Azalia told reporters. “But, sadly, my mom won’t be visiting for another two months, and all of my friends are busy this weekend, so I guess I’ll just have to keep ordering takeout for the foreseeable future.”
While it could be argued that Azalia has the ability to make one of the meals she mentioned herself by looking up the recipe online and simply following the instructions, she maintains that this is impossible.
“Let me be clear: I’m not in the mood to cook — I’m in the mood for a home cooked meal. There’s a huge difference.” she said. “Frankly, the act of ‘cooking’ hasn’t even crossed my mind, and I refuse to think about it any longer.”
Unfortunately, Azalia’s friends are seeming to take a slight issue with her request.
“She keeps texting me and asking if I want to make dinner with her this weekend,” Azalia’s friend Kaitlyn Douglass told reporters. “But every time we do that, I end up doing all the work while she chops, like, one carrot. I don’t really mind doing it because I like to cook, but I think it would be really rewarding for her if she made something herself for once.”
When asked if she has ever cooked an entire meal for herself, Azalia appeared offended by the question.
“What are you talking about? Of course I have,” she told reporters. “I can’t even count how many frozen Trader Joe’s meals I’ve made all by myself. I just don’t really feel like putting in the work right now. Is that such a crime?”
Reporters considered informing Azalia that a frozen Trader Joe’s meal doesn’t necessarily count as a “home cooked meal”, but they honestly just didn’t feel like making the effort.
As of press time, Azalea’s wish had finally been granted after she went to Kaitlyn’s apartment to eat the dinner Kaitlyn had prepared beforehand.
“You absolutely need to come over next time! I’ll cook for you,” Azalia said. “I just got an amazing new frozen pizza from Trader Joe’s!”
