Woman Hopeful She Can Course-Correct Entire Life in Time With Society Reopening

In the thirteenth month of a global pandemic with widespread vaccination finally on the horizon, St. Louis resident Lacey Hynes is hopeful she can course-correct her entire life in time with society reopening.


“The beginning of covid was especially stressful because that’s when I lost my job,” Hynes says. “But once I accepted I was going to be unemployed and alone in my apartment all day every day, I started to think I needed to really make the most of this time, and then I didn’t do that at all.”


“Looking back I realize I was putting way too much pressure on myself during a personally and collectively difficult time,” Hynes adds. “So it’s fine that I didn’t accomplish anything in that year, but now I really would like to fix every part of my life within the next month or two.”


While her current path would have her emerging from lockdown socially isolated, jobless, anxious, and existentially astray, Hynes is optimistic she can undo all of that real quick in time for this summer.


“Ideally, I can reconnect with friends I stopped talking to because I was depressed and fucking sick of Zoom and figure out what my dream career is then secure an entry-level position with upward mobility within it — and maybe fall in love with a nice guy with great health insurance so I can marry him and start therapy because actually I still am pretty depressed — by the time I’m vaccinated,” Hynes says. “Which I’m already eligible for so I also need to be trying to get an appointment while I do those other things.”


When asked if the self-imposed deadline to redress her existence might be stress-inducing as well as impossible, Hynes rejected the suggestion.



“What I really need is to just get ‘er done,” Hynes says. “Like, if you take baby steps, then you won’t get anywhere because babies are bad at walking. Does that make sense? I haven’t read a book in a year and feel like I’ve really lost my word recall.”


“Wow, maybe I need to finish a book first and that will get the ball rolling on everything else,” Hynes adds. “I think I have a copy of Anna Karenina around here somewhere.”