In an anxiety-inducing story out of New Haven, CT, 27-year-old Gigi Walker reports that she finally allowed herself to relieve her bladder, but only after completing whatever menial task she was working on first.
“It’s important to reward yourself for getting stuff done,” Walker told reporters. “And for me, that means letting myself go to the bathroom after actively holding in my pee for several hours.”
Reporters informed Walker that there were other, less painful methods of rewarding yourself, like getting a snack or scrolling on your phone for 10 minutes.
Walker shot down these recommendations, claiming prohibiting bathroom usage is the only thing that works for her.
“It kind of gamifies whatever task I’m doing,” she said. “Like I’m trying to beat a timer or something, you know? But, in this scenario, the ‘timer’ I’m trying to ‘beat’ is potentially pissing my pants.”
Walker, who used to have trouble sitting down and getting things done, says her new motivation method of either finishing whatever it is she’s working on or risk soaking her jeans in urine has done wonders for her productivity.
“It just comes down to one thing: Do you want pee-pants, or don’t you?” she explained. “For me, that’s an easy choice – no pee-pants – so I’m left with no other option than to sit down, cross my legs, grit my teeth, and answer every single one of my work emails.”
“There’s no better reward than not having to sit in a pool of your own piss.”
Sources close to Walker call her strategy “obsessive” and express concern that it might be detrimental for her health.
“One time I saw her crush a two-liter of Diet Coke and then proceed to sit at her desk working on an Excel spreadsheet for the next three hours,” said Danny Hayes, Walker’s roommate. “There were tears in her eyes by hour two. I mean, that can’t be good for you, right?”
Walker maintains that the benefits of her reward system outweigh the drawbacks.
“Not pissing yourself is the best feeling in the world,” she said. “So, I get to experience that sensation and get all my laundry put away? That’s a win-win to me.”
