Woman Realizes Everything She Owns Was Recommended by Influencers

In a developing story coming out of Long Beach, CA, 21-year-old Sarah Castillo, has just looked around her room and realized every item purchased in her home was recommended by influencers.


“Huh,” remarked the college student while chewing a hair gummy vitamin, “I guess I never thought about how much I buy things because people online tell me I should. Is that bad?”


Castillo had just ordered a planner she’ll never use after watching a “What’s In My Bag” video when she remembered that she had the same exact bag, ironically after buying it from the same influencer’s “What’s In My Bag” video last year.


“I thought it was a funny coincidence, but then I went through my bag and realized that everything in there was also from various ‘What’s In My Bag’ posts. And when I looked up at my closet, I could pinpoint which shirt I saw from which TikTok. The plants on my desk? From Plant Instagram! The mug I was drinking out of? A Buzzfeed article back in 2013.”



As Castillo kept listing various items in her room that she had bought after seeing someone else with it online, she began spiraling into an existential crisis.


“Who am I, really? I mean, is my whole identity just based off of my ‘For You’ page? Am I that susceptible to the whims of capitalism?” she said. “I don’t even like plants, I just liked the aesthetic of that one plant account!”


She briefly paused the interview to scroll through #meditation on TikTok. After following instructions on how to take deep breaths from a yoga instructor’s page, Castillo calmed down.


“It’s fine. It’s totally fine. This is just, like, how I express myself, you know? With a little help from other people.”


When asked if this revelation would change her shopping habits, Castillo was already on the Fabletics website, buying a calming candle endorsed by said yoga instructor.