After months of letting people assume that she was in a group message loosely referred to as “besties,” one woman is ready to publicly declare that she is not in a friend group chat at all.
“Since when does everyone have ten close friends?” asked 30-year-old Linda Thomas, who is still coming to terms with the fact that she just doesn’t know that many people.
“I mean, I have like two best friends I’m in regular contact with, then maybe an additional few from the course of my life who I talk to every six months, and none of them know each other, ” added Linda. “Where are people finding these groups?”
For years, every man Linda dated at some point let her know that he was texting ‘the boys.’ In these situations, ‘the boys’ refers to a group of any number between three and 300 men who share GIFs, roasts and even investment tips, via iMessage.
Linda always played along, allowing her partners to think that she might also be sending dank memes to her ‘girls’, but now she’s ready to share her story.
“I saw Linda texting a group of people,” said Linda’s 35-year-old ex-boyfriend, Greg Miller. “So naturally I said, ‘Someone’s GM must be blowing up about that new Drag Race episode.’”
“I was actually talking to my mother and my aunt,” admitted Linda, “about whether a scab on my toe looked weird.”
It wasn’t until Linda was talking to her closest friend, that this web of lies spun out of control.
“I shared a funny Reddit thread with my best friend,” reported Linda. “And then she laughed, and said ‘Hold on, I’m gonna send that to my group chat.’ Like, what group chat?”
It was at that moment, Linda realized that literally all of her friends were in a group chat, probably, whether those chats were with friends from work, school, hobbies, or even Twitter. People were meeting for group Facetime calls, Zoom happy hours, and even digital parties on Animal Crossing.
“So I lied to my friend,” confessed Linda. “I told her, ‘I’ll text my group chat, too.” Linda is sharing her truth now, not just to come clean, but in hopes of finding others like her.
“I know it doesn’t mean my friends are talking about me,” Linda said, “just because they have a group chat without me. But there has to be someone else who’s not in a friend group chat, right?”