Dear Willow and Jaden Smith,
My 76-year-old mother recently had her third fall. She is fiercely independent and is mentally “all there,” but my brother and I worry about her being alone in that house. What is the best way to broach the subject of assisted living with resistant parents? We just want her to live her best life.
–Every Lapsed Day Elevates Resistance
Dear ELDER,
WILLOW: Anytime I look at a building, I think, “I built that building.” Because I did.
JADEN: Willow’s been building all her own buildings since she was like, 6.
WILLOW: People block their energy flow with negative destruction. But you look at Kali, the goddess of destruction, it’s not just destruction. [It’s] time and change, too.
JADEN: Willow actually wrote all The Beatles’ songs. It’s easy for her because she is a starchild. Starchildren have bigger skulls.
WILLOW: Because skulls.
JADEN: People just need to stop doing all the hard things and start doing all the fun things. Everyone is rich. Hope that helps.
Dear Willow and Jaden Smith,
My father is 97 and living in a wonderful nursing home. Yesterday we received word that they needed to restrain him and administer sedatives because he had been spitting on the nurses and grabbing at their breasts and buttocks. I was mortified. This is the man who used to inspire such fear and admiration in me, and now he’s just some crazy old pervert. The facility has been enormously empathetic towards us, but still, how do I cope with this?
–Embarrassed
Dear Embarrassed,
WILLOW: The whole universe is just observing itself through our consciousness, y’know?
JADEN: That’s the crazy part. Anyone can say, Oh, you’re a student, for instance, you went to law school and now you get to tell people to go to school or not go to school, but then you look inside and it’s like… [laughs]
WILLOW: We’re all lawyers.
JADEN: We’re all lawyers.
WILLOW: Hope that helps.
Dear Willow and Jaden Smith,
I am the next of kin for my great aunt. She was moved to hospice care recently and I am just devastated. This woman has been like a mother to me all my life. I can’t bear the thought of losing her. Is it selfish to try and convince her to seek treatment beyond palliative care? I’ve been researching specialists in our area and am prepared to foot the bill. What are the ethics here?
–Devastated Only Niece Tells Great aunt, “Oh no!”
Dear DONTGO,
JADEN: This new track off Willow’s new album (“I Am Blind”), let me quote the lyrics: “No way, José.” Nobody’s gonna tell us what is and isn’t the facts, because let’s face it: What’s the right way to eat a Reese’s? Nah. I am. I am Reese’s.
WILLOW: My best friend is a tree branch. I have a lot of expensive clothing, but also, I can eat a big mud pie in my backyard.
JADEN: Kids today are mountains. Babies are chemicals.
WILLOW: Adobe Creative Suite. Markers. A magazine.
JADEN: I like to wear money.
WILLOW: Hope that helps.
Dear Willow and Jaden Smith,
I am an atheist, but my 85-year-old father is a staunch Catholic. He’s nearing the end of his life and is constantly talking about angels and heaven, two things I consider to be phony baloney. How do I continue to comfort my father in his final days without selling out my beliefs?
–Unbeliever
Dear Unbeliever,
JADEN: You are concept. We leap the elements. Form fields. Foment the youth. Thoughts breathe in and out. Stop focusing on the in.
WILLOW: The ultimate goal that I have for my life is to become a mountain.
JADEN: Hope that helps.
