Why I Stopped Going to Therapy and Started Asking the Piano Man to Sing Us a Song Tonight

Self-discovery is a long and difficult journey, one I was getting pretty tired of after years of trying. Therapy was getting me nowhere, and I was desperate for a quick fix. Here’s why I stopped visiting my therapist and started asking the Piano Man to sing us a song – specifically to sing us a song tonight.


One motivation for this transition was financial. Copays on visits with a licensed therapist have been rising, but it’s actually free to stumble into a bar at nine o’clock on a Saturday when the regular crowd shuffles in! There’s also nothing anyone can legally do to stop you from yelling, “Son, can you play me a memory? I’m not really sure how it goes.” Then, boom! The Piano Man is playing a song that’s sad and it’s sweet, the one you knew complete when you wore a younger man’s clothes. Pretty sick.


Also, unlike in therapy, where it’s just me and my girl Linda, there are tons of cool people at the bar! There’s this waitress that’s practicing politics, as a businessman slowly gets stoned. What a chill group. And sure, we’re sharing a drink we call loneliness (two shots gin, one shot vodka, squeeze of lime-flavored vodka), but it’s better than drinking alone! I just have to be careful not to ask too many questions, because one time this guy I was talking to said, “Bill, I believe this is killing me”.


It was such a downer. My name’s not even Bill.



I’ve spent a lot of therapy hours trying not to compare myself to people more successful than I am, but the bar is a great place to remember that relative to everyone else, I’m actually doing super well. For example, Paul is a real estate novelist who never had time for a wife, and he’s talking with Davy, who’s still in the Navy, and probably will be for life. At least I’m not them! All of a sudden I’m in the mood for a melody, and the Piano Man’s got me feeling alright!


So why would I spend hours reliving my trauma with the guidance of a professional when I could let the Piano Man sing me one hell of a song?


Next time it feels like your self-improvement journey is stalling, try heading to the bar and putting bread in the Piano Man’s jar. But if that doesn’t work, just remember to slow down, you crazy child! You’re so ambitious for a juvenile. These are thoughts that are coming to me organically.