TaskRabbit is an app that can help you do just about anything: I’ve used it to get someone to pick up my laundry, go grocery shopping for me, help install my TV, and even do a little administrative work. But why stop there? Here’s my I hired a TaskRabbit to live the rest of my life:
We currently are living in a gig economy, which means that everyone is trying to make an extra buck by doing odd jobs on the side, and what better way to supply jobs in this market than assigning every single thing I have to do in my own waking life to another person who will do it for money?
I came up with the idea when I had plans to meet up with my boyfriend at a bar, but I really didn’t feel like it. Suddenly, I realized that at a tap of my finger I could simply request someone to go meet him for me without risking our three-year-long relationship. In fact, I could send someone to hang out with him for years to come while I lie in bed and watch Netflix instead!
Once I heard that the date night went great, I realized that I could send a TaskRabbit to go home for the holidays for me too. After all, I love my family, but that doesn’t mean that I always like to get on a plane and travel all the way to see them, so I sent a TaskRabbit to do it in my place. They even beat my sister at Bananagrams, so I feel like I got more than my money’s worth.
I just love having a disposable income and living in 2022.
Now, instead of canceling plans with my friends when I’m too cozy at home, I just send someone else to hang out with them. But to make sure I don’t lose touch with anyone, I also assign people to text funny things in our group chats so that I can stay relevant and keep getting invited to things that I will ultimately keep sending TaskRabbits to attend.
I even have plans to hire TaskRabbits for the end of my life. When I die I want to be cremated, but my dad’s side of the family wants everyone to have an open casket funeral. So when I finally kick the bucket, I’ll just hire someone to lie in the coffin for me in advance!
My life is literally so much easier now!
I also just got word that my boyfriend proposed to one of my TaskRabbits, so I guess I’ll have to hire another one to plan the wedding and also get married to him! I’m so excited to watch it all from a livestream while I’m taking a bath!
